Sunday, January 31, 2016

20 Town Crier Proclamations

20 Town Crier Proclamations

The group has recently arrived in town and a man is pacing down the street ringing a bell. Once he has gathered everyone attention he issues a proclamation on behalf of the ruling body. Another option are messages left on the town bulletin board. Presented below are 20 proclamations. A lot of these were inspired or taken from weird US State laws.

1. On behalf of the Baron all citizens are invited to witness the beheading of Xavier Minner. He has committed grand treason against our benevolent lord.

2. All urination in the town river is suspended for one week.

3. The town has enacted a strict curfew. All resident must be in door before sundown. All those violating the law shall be arrested and flog.

4. Due to the rise of witchcraft, we ask all citizens to please put down any black cats by weeks end.

5. Fornication in the town garden is strictly prohibited.

6. Bounty has been issued for goblins! Recent caravans raids have played havoc on trade. Each goblin scalp turned in will be rewarded with 5 gold coins and a free meal at the Frisky Rabbit Tavern.

7. Beginning next harvest all taxes will increase tenfold. Failure to pay your taxes on time will result in forfeit of land and imprisonment.

8. We regret to inform you Miss Tolly has passed away. She leaves behind her husband Moe and their son Tommy. Please offer your condolences to the family.

9. Winter Festival Parade will begin on Main Street at noon. All resident are forbidden from emptying their chamber pots onto the street during the parade.

10. Due to an infestation of mice on our grain supply, the town is rewarding 1 copper piece per tail turn in.

11. It is illegal for eight dogs to occupy the same block.

12. Due to an increase in carriage accidents, we have outlawed falling asleep or being intoxicated while riding a horse.

13. Prayer service begins at midnight. Please bring appropriate sacrifices to the Temple of Mephistopheles.

14. The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

15. Cats must have a permit signed by the Lord to congregate in a group of three or more on public property. Thank You.

16. The Carnival will arrive in town tonight. Please refrain from feeding the chimpanzees.

17. Being barefoot is allowed around friends and acquaintances, but outlawed among strangers.

18. All wives are not allowed to cut their own hair without their husband permission.

19. The town has outlawed catching fish with your bare hands.

20. Bathing is prohibited during winter.
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